SUNDAY FICTION: Waves of Shame

Like a mass choir, the congregation breathed deeply and sang the last amen of the service. Church was over. Bags were hastily packed and phones whipped out for the all important texting, calling and even picture taking. Names travelled from one wall to the other as people called each other blindly searching for friends and family in the crowd.

Funmi however was immune to this. Her goal was the double doors streaming in golden light from the resting sun.

‘Funmi! Funmi!’ her name travelled from different parts of the church but she wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t explain this sudden desire that washed over her but she had to satisfy it. It was a source of energy that defiled all the laws of nature: the more she fed on it, the more it increased.

‘Funmi! Today was powerful! That song really spoke to me.’

‘Thank you sir!’ She knelt in gratitude as was customary.

‘God will continue to use that voice as a tool for his glory.’ The pastor shook her hand again and walked away. She didn’t even bother to say amen.

Reaching her goal, she ran to her car and hastily drove off. Her actions were hurried and jerky like a child who had consumed too much coffee for the first time. Halfway home, he came in and she physically kissed her teeth. He wouldn’t say anything – she could read it all in the bloodshot eyes reflected in her windshield mirror. She heard the whips tear the taut flesh tear out like cardboard but she wouldn’t let him guilt her. She kissed her teeth again and ignored him as she sank deeper into her desire. By the time she got home, the bloodshot eyes weren’t reflected on her mirror anymore.

Shutting the house door behind her, the presence of evil made itself known. Sure there were no red flames or lightning but it whispered sweetly and urgently the way it does when sin becomes one’s god. He showed up again still refusing to say anything but simply staring at her with blood leaking out his skin.

Death v. Life.

Funmi chose death and switched on her laptop, her shame already drowning her as she sailed the boat of lustful desire. She typed in the first letter and the website shot up, as if basking in the attention this child of God paid it. Her eyes malnourished her soul, mind and body with images of sexual immorality and as if not enough, the angels of death massed and began singing with pure joy driving Funmi to the peak of her lust. A scene of false intensity!

Moments later, her desire satiated, her boat capsized and she fought against the tides of guilt and shame. Again, he appeared and offered to save her. He stretched his hands to her and she reached out in relief until she saw the holes – a testament to his pain and his heartbreak. She chose to drown and the waves swallowed her. Such delight in hell!

*****

When the church talks about sexual immorality, it tends to focus on fornication and adultery but it misses the other sins ruining the destiny of so much of our youth these days: pornography and masturbation. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. (I Corinthian 6:18) Of course, the only way to flee from sexual immorality is by clinging to God and living in the spirit and not the flesh. Even though the world gives reasons why it is acceptable to commit sexual immorality, we must remember that it is only the Devil’s lie. We have to overcome the Devil by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimonies.

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8 thoughts on “SUNDAY FICTION: Waves of Shame

  1. Tonianni says:

    More so, Our churches need to emphasize Christ. Without a focus on God, Man will focus on everything else and that is where all problems lie.

  2. lolahbf says:

    I agree but it depends what angle they’re coming from. Growing up, all I heard was, ‘God will bless you, make you rich, find you a husband’ etc and all of these are fine. But noone ever taught me how God should be my first and everything. How he should be my lover, my comforter and how he basically could fill the hole in my heart. I had to discover all these things myself after going through the wrong paths and making worldly mistakes. That’s what needs emphasis in my opinion.

  3. xplizitsouljah says:

    In as much as i agree with all you have said, i also feel the pain of the people engulfed by this web of lust. it is quite easy to preach from the outside-in but you do not really want to be in the place where these ones you talk about her. You have no idea what they are running from and escape is in the addiction they found. That is not an excuse still for them but you really do need to feel the piercing of the needle before you can man-up and proclaim such to anyone. On that note, i say thumbs up and hopes for more to come.

    • lolahbf says:

      The reason I wrote about this topic is because I know a LOT of people like this and I know exactly what they’re going through so I’m not writing from the inside having experienced their struggle with them. And when you hear their stories of how and why they fell into this addiction, you feel so hurt for them and you pray God lifts them up. For example, someone who was abused by their family members who turned to pornography to fill that hole and because they were confused. There’s this woman who wrote a book on how God helped her beat her addiction to sexual immorality and she talks about how it got so bad, she met up with a random man to have casual sex with at a motel. But luckily, that’s where God called her and spoke to her and began his healing process. And that’s why I wrote this: to show it is happening and we must do something about it as the body of Christ.

  4. Tomi Ola says:

    I understand the point Tonianni is coming from. If we Christians deeply understood who Christ is and the manner of love he has and showers on us – a host of the sins we commit won’t even appeal to us. Unfortunately, people are perishing from lack of knowledge.

    The plot in ‘Waves of Shame’ is one of the many sins and challenges ‘strong’ Christians face and struggle with everyday. Emphasising Christ is the overarching solution … the mini-steps however, would be to point little things like this out and let people know that there is deliverance at the feet of Jesus no matter how long you’ve strayed. He became sin for us, so he knows.

    @xzplicit.

    Thank you for your comment on Lola’s story. Whether the sin of masturbation, other sexual immoralities or other sins – I think everyone has a story to tell. We are human and we are not in anyway perfect. Whether or not she has been in these shoes does not disqualify her from writing about it. We all have the mandate to spread the word of God- who knows, someone somewhere just needs this to come to terms with reality and go back to Jesus.

    I hope you’ll be visiting again. There is always a new story every sunday evening 🙂

  5. xplizitsouljah says:

    i have not questioned your judgement nor called you to order. All i am saying is this addiction is way bigger than how it appears. Its like ice-cream on a cone you buy to enjoy for the moment but in this situation, the ice won’t melt so you are tempted to keep going back for more.

    • lolahbf says:

      I know it is. Which is why I wish that churches would address it more and try to help people out of it. So the more exposure it gets, the better.

  6. xplizitsouljah says:

    @Tomi, you have monglophobia o! You have refused to give me your verdict still. Na so you lazy reach? My friend, will you go over there with immediate alacrity now… 😛

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