The eyes of the old never hide. Instead they jump at every chance as if trying to prove their worth. This here sparkle, I got after I proposed to my husband and he spat his wine out in surprise. And this mellow line of humility, I got after I had to beg my boss back for my job after I quit in anger.
But the eyes of the young, they hide in fear. They are scared of rejection and that primal human characteristic that is judgement. But if you study patiently, you find it as one finally notices the grasshopper in the garden. This dull light used to be a sparkle. It dimmed after several months of fornication. And this nervous line of arrogance, I acquired after my mother became abusive.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
They don’t know our secret so I tell them. I watch their eyes desperately seeking a transformation but the wet darkness remains. They refuse to believe. Rejection is no longer a simple emotion: it has become their Goliath. My words are like fuel that feeds the blaze in their eyes challenging every of their defences.
When they spoke, they spoke collectively as if their oneness was a justification of their regret. ‘‘There is no such love. There is only punishment. Our guilt is our sanctification!’’ They were a merciless judge sentencing hurt in the place of love and regret for mistakes.
But after a while, their very eyes betrayed them. They sang of a weariness that man feels after trying harder than he ought. See this vein? It appeared after I cheated on my wife and she left me. I never stopped crying and it never left. And see these sparks? They continue to fly everytime I think of my unfaithful husband.
Once more, I revealed to them the secret and this time, they fell on it desperate for support; desperate to trade the fear in their eyes for confidence. Gradually, the sparkle grew and soon, I didn’t have to search for it anymore. It would run out to meet me whenever I arrived as if desperately trying to share my own secret with me.
The eyes of the young never hide. Instead they jump at every chance trying to save the world. This glint of wisdom is a treasure to me. I won it after I let go of all my past regrets. And this beautiful sparkle of peace was replaced by a husband who hurt me after I forgave him.
”It’s an all time low
Never letting go of the things that hold you back. . .
It’s an all time high
Feeling so alive
When you’re living like you have no regrets. . .
Love is leading me
Holding nail-scarred hands
Forgetting where I’m from or who I’ve been”
This Love is Free by Hyland